Category Archives: Leadership

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How to Make Your Marriage More Successful

Are you trying at your marriage or are you committed in your marriage? Those that “try” at anything are usually not committed. They will stay with something until it gets hard. Committed means you do what ever it takes to make something work.  Those that commit generally succeed, while those that try will generally fail.

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A deep level of commitment in a marriage can lead to a lower divorce rate. According to Thomas Bradbury, Benjamin Karney and Dominik Schoebi from the Relationship Institute at UCLA couples that both people were willing to make sacrifices for the sake of the marriage were significantly more likely to have lasting and happy marriages. Of the  172 couples in the study, 78.5% were still married after 11 years and 21.5% were divorced.  This is significantly better than the average divorce rate.

Ways to make your marriage more successful:

  • Compromise.  Good marriages are not based on I win or you win.  It is not a winning or losing proposition. Commit to the relationship rather than committing to your own immediate needs and agenda. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your needs and wants.
  • Communicate. When you don’t see things eye to eye talk to your spouse. There is a good chance that your spouse can not read your mind.
  • Pray together and for each other.  Pray for strength and unity in your marriage. Pray for others and their needs on a daily basis. Men, here is a prayer for your wife.
  • Commit with actions. Let your actions reflect your commitment. Make yourself available when your spouse wants to talk. Spend time alone with your spouse. Laugh together. Have date moments. Plan for your future together.
  • Commit with words. Tell your spouse that you are committed to your marriage for the rest of your life. Tell your spouse you love them in front of your kids. Let your kids know that you and your spouse are committed to each other through thick and thin. This will put your kids at ease. They see a lot of divorce through their friends.
  • Learn your spouse’s Love Language.  There are only 5 to learn. Here is a post I did on The Language of Love.
  • Be Grateful for your spouse. What are you thankful for? Ask God to bring these things to mind. Make a list and review it often.
  • Do a check up. Ask your spouse how you are doing for him or her every 6 months. Ask what you can do to improve the relationship. 
  • Model other couples that have successful marriages. Ask a couple that has been successfully married a long time to mentor you.
  •  Renew your wedding vows every 5 – 10 years. Recommit to each other. My wife and I did this the last time, in Cana, for our 25th wedding anniversary.

These are just a few ideas to make a marriage more successful. Please feel free to share this with others.

Be Great!

 

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How To Not Lose An Idea

7 Ways to Record Your Ideas

Have you ever had a great idea and later when you are trying to figure out what that great idea was you have forgot the idea? I think this has happened to everyone at some time or another.

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Here are 7 ways to record your ideas so you don’t forget them:

  1. Record your ideas in a journal. Set aside time to think every day. Pick a time of day that works best for you. Record your thoughts and ideas in the Idea Journal. You can record on a paper or electronic journal.
  2. Carry a small pad of paper and pen or pencil. A small notebook like a Moleskin or a spiral notebook is perfect for this. There is even an app for Moleskin so you can use your phone or tablet.
  3. Use the voice memos app on your iPhone or Android phone. Most cells phones have a voice recording app. A nice option if you use Dropbox and want to share your messages is to use DropVox. This is a recording tool that will drop your message right in to DropBox.
  4. Carry a small voice recorder. I have used a small voice recorder like the one in the picture above for years. I have it in my car so as I am driving I can just hit the record button to capture thoughts, ideas and to dos.
  5. Call yourself and leave a voice mail. This is a trick I learned a long time ago. If you have an idea while you are away from your office  call yourself on your cell or office phone and leave a message.
  6. Use notes on your phone. Most cell phones have some sort of messaging app or notes app that you can record notes.
  7.  Text or email yourself. Many cell phones have voice texting.  Most vehicles have the capabilty to do voice texting as well when they are in sync with your phone. An email provides you with a written record.

Be Great!

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How to Put Discipline in Your Life

We all want to do so many things in our lives, but we are limited by time. How we schedule our day and discipline ourselves has a big impact on whether we accomplish what we set out to do each day.

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Self discipline is hard and is something you can train yourself to get better at. Much of it is sticking to your plan and not letting others or your own self talk convince you to not get done what you want to get accomplished.

6 Areas to Commit Time and Create More Discipline

  • Faith – Commit time to prayer and go to church. Set aside time each day to pray. How many minutes/hours would you like to pray each day?  I have found early mornings and night time work best for me. Figure out your best prayer time. Don’t skip church because you want to sleep in or have other things to do on Sunday. Plan on which mass or service you attend each week.
  • Fitness – Commit time to workout. How many times per week do you want to workout? How long do you want your workouts to be? What kind of workouts do you want to do? Start with an easy workout just a few minutes per day and work your way up to longer and harder workouts.
  • Friends – Commit to spending time with friends. How often do you want to spend time with friends? Who do you want to spend time with? Set a goal of how many times per week or month you want to spend with your friends.
  • Finances – Commit time to working on your finances. The easiest thing to do is set your monthly bills on autopay. Set up your investments with monthly deductions. Most employers offer a 401k plan. This is an easy way to set aside monies for retirement and comes out of your pay pretax. Review your investment statements monthly.  Set up a quarterly and  an annual review with a financial planner.
  • Family – Commit time to your spouse and children. Plan to spend time with your family each day. Have family dinners.  Have date time or date moments with your spouse. Take time to talk to your kids and play with them.
  • Fun – Commit time to doing something fun. Get vacation and fun time planned and put in your calendar. Where would you like to go on vacation? What weekend trips would you like to go on? What fun things have you not done in a while that you would like to do?

After answering these questions for each category pull out your calendar. Block time in your calendar for each of these 6 areas. Tell your spouse or a friend what you have scheduled and what your goals are. You will have a greater chance of hitting them if you have accountability to someone other than yourself.

Be Great! 

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How to Read More Books Every Year

I love to read and to learn. I generally read between 24 – 40 books per year. I skim or reads chapters of another 50+ books per year.

I usually read books based on recommendations. The recommendation may come from a friend, business associate, priest, blog or business magazine. I have found I don’t want to waste time reading something that may not be good.

 

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Reading for learning. When I read to learn I choose nonfiction books. They are usually business related or based on a certain topic to learn about. Here is how to read a nonfiction book.

  • Read the cover flap and about author. This gives a good synopsis of the book and you learn about what other books the author has written.
  • Skip the endorsements.
  • Review the table of contents to see what topics interest you.
  • Read the 1st and last chapter first. You can learn about most of the book in these two chapters.
  • Go back and read the chapters on the topics you want to learn or interest you.
  • You do not have to read the whole book. Read only what you want to read.

Reading for Entertainment.

Fiction books are great for entertainment and to escape. Pick a genre that interests you and find authors that are good in that genre. If don’t like the book stop reading it and pick a different book. There are so many books available that there is no need to finish a book you don’t enjoy just to say you finished it.

There are fiction books that have great research and historical information. You can learn as you read.

Listening to Books.

Some people don’t like to read books. I highly recommend Audible.com for those of you who do not like to read books.  It is also a great way to get more books read in a year. You can listen while you are traveling or while working out.

Paper books versus ebooks

  • It is easy to get to different parts of the book
  • You can mark the book up and write in the margins
  • There is just something about having the book with turnable pages in your hands

Ebooks versus paper books

  • You never loose your place in an ebook. The book automatically syncs on your device
  • You can use multiple devices to read a book like a Ipad, Iphone or Android device. The book syncs across your devices
  • With ebooks you save space. When traveling you can take multiple ebooks to read without the space a paper copy takes.
  • If you have books on Audible.com and on Kindle Reader you can use Whispersync. This is a really cool function. If you are listening to a book it will automatically sync with the book you are reading on your Kindle app and vice versa.

Create a reading program.

  • Set a goal to read 1 chapter or set a time frame to read per day. An example would be to read 15 minutes per day.
  • Create a book list of books on subjects you would like to learn
  • Read several books at a time to have variety in what you can choose to read. I tend to read 4 -5 books at a time so I have choices on what I feel like reading.

Be Great!

 

 

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7 Easy Ways to Improve Your Personal Relationships

Is Your Cell Phone Harming Your Relationships?

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Are you the spouse or friend that is sitting at the restaurant watching your spouse or friend text or tweet while sitting across from you? Is your husband checking his email, Facebook or talking with his friends via Whatsapp while you are trying to have a conversation with him?

I recently heard a woman say that she felt like she was not good enough or there must be something wrong with her because her husband is always on his phone when they are together. She wondered why he finds that his friends are so much more important and interesting than her.

Here are 7 Easy Ways to improve your marriage and relationships:

1) Turn off your cell phone at mealtime. Meal times should be conversations with people at the table. It is a great time to spend talking to your family and guests.

2) Turn off noise reminders for texts and social media sites. You will not be interrupted.  You will not be tempted to answer them immediately.

3) If you are with your spouse or friends don’t take your cell phone in to the restaurant or turn it off. There are a couple of reasons to have the phone on, either you are on call or you have small children at home.

Next time you are at a restaurant take time to look around. How many people are texting, on social media or talking on the phone? This may surprise you.

4) Don’t text or use Snapchat, Whatsapp, Twitter or other communication when you are talking with your friends or spouse. How do you think your spouse or friends feel while you are typing away as they are trying to talk to you? Or when you answer that Whatsapp text right when you get the beep while they are in mid sentence.

5) Don’t take the phone to bed. This is bad on a couple of levels. It will definitely reduce or eliminate intimacy. It will also reduce your sleep quality, especially if you leave the notifications on.

6) Don’t text your spouse or friends when they are in the same house, apartment or room as you. Talk to them.

7) Check email, texts and social media before you get home from work. Don’t get home and then immediately pull your phone out and start checking social media. Give your best to your best when you get home.

Be Great!

 

 

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A Great Way to Start Your Day

A 7 Step Morning Routine

 

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How do you start your morning? Do you have a morning routine?

You will find that your days will go better if you start with a morning routine. To get a better start to your day set up a morning routine before you head off to work. This may mean having to get up a little earlier. Getting up before everyone else gets up will enable you to have some solitude in the morning.

Here is a sample 7 Step Morning Routine:

  1. Have a cup of coffee or your favorite morning beverage pray and reflect
  2. Reflect on what you are grateful. Record it on a list or in a journal
  3. Decide what charitable acts or acts of kindness you can do for someone today
  4. Plan out your day
  5. Write a handwritten note or two to friends
  6. Workout  (If you never exercise start with short walk in the morning)
  7. Shower and have breakfast

Develop your own morning routine. Write it down and stick with it for 60 days.

Share this with a friend. Live life intentionally!

Be Great!

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How To Put More Simplicity In To Your Life

7 Ways to Simplify Your Life

 

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We all have a lot of stuff. We have so much stuff that there is over 2.35 billion square feet of self storage units in the United States. We have closets full of clothes we have not worn for years. We have multiple email accounts with hundreds or even thousands of emails. We have desks that have stacks of stuff on them. We have multiple calendars filled with appointments. Here are 7 ways to simplify all of this.

7 Ways to Simplify your Life

    1. Clean Your Closet
      • Schedule a Saturday morning to clean your closet
      • Take all the clothes and shoes you have not worn in the last year and give them away to one of your favorite charities
    2. Clean Your Email
      • Set up an offline folder for your unread email
        • Set rules for email to go to an offline folder automatically.
      • Reduce the number of emails you get in a day by unsubscribing as you receive solicitation emails
      • Delete your trash
      • Take action on email
        • Read and take action when you read the email
        • Move unwanted emails to trash
        • Move emails you want to keep to your offline folder for unread email or to Evernote to read later
    3. Clean Your Desk
      • Keep your desktop clean
      • Focus on one thing at a time
      • Purchase a simple organization system. A tray or box for working on, need to delegate, need to file and need to shred.
    4. Clean Out Your Cell Phone
      • Delete all the apps you have not used in the last 60 days
    5. Get Rid of Your Storage Unit
      • Sell everything you don’t need or give it to charity
      • Bring everything else home and save yourself the storage cost
    6. Evernote
    7. Calendar
      • Use a  calendar system
      • Use separate work and home calendars if that works better for you
      • Schedule fun things in to your calendar

Be Great!

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How to Help Your Teens Learn Goal Setting

32095149_mThis process of goal setting can be used by anyone. You can teach your kids this process and they will be way ahead of their peers. We taught our children at a young age this very simple goal setting process.

Every Christmas we put a gift in each of our children’s stockings. It is the most inexpensive gift we give them, but over the years it has proven to be one of the most valuable gifts we have given them. We give each of them a blank 3×5  card that says Goals for 2015 (The year obviously changes).  On this card they put down their goals for the coming year.

We taught them to write down 3 – 5 of their big goals that they want to achieve during the year. Then beneath the goals they write down the plan they need to put in place to obtain the goals. The plan includes what needs to be done on a daily, weekly or monthly basis.

They were taught to carry the goal card and to review it frequently. At the end of the year they knew what they achieved and where they needed to improve.

Our kids have grown up to be high achievers and I attribute a lot of this to their setting big goals. Did they hit all of their goals? No, but they certainly achieved goals they would not have if they didn’t have written goals.

This process is not just for kids, it is for everyone. You can do a goal card too. All you have to do is get a 3×5 card or small piece of paper and start the process. It’s never too late to start. Get started today!

Be Great!

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How to Write a Spiritual Program for Life

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Many of you have a Plan for Your Life, but do you have a Spiritual Program for Your Life?
A spiritual program for your life is a plan to help you progress in your spiritual development.  It a a road map you create to help you grow in holiness.
Steps to create a spiritual program for your life:
1) You will need to set some time aside to reflect on yourself. I recommend taking at least a half a day to do this. Pick a quiet place to reflect.
2) Determine your root sin.  The root sins are Pride, Vanity and Sensuality. We each have all of these to a degree, but one will usually stand out.
Manifestations of Pride: You don’t trust others, you are always right, being judgmental and critical of others, always trying to hit the next goal, getting down on yourself when you fail, not wanting to depend on anyone.
Manifestations of Vanity: You seek approval and acceptance from others, wanting others to like and admire you, fear rejection from friends and peers, fall into impurity in order to be liked or feel loved.
Manifestations of Sensuality: You avoid tasks or work because of your emotional state, always wanting the “newest and best” of everything, don’t control your appetite, eating or drinking to excess, escape by turning on TV or watching movies to avoid what you should do, seek intimacy for selfish pleasure.
3) List out 4 – 6 manifestations of your root sin.
     Example: I tend to judge other people
4) Choose an opposite virtue to your root sin
     Examples of opposite virtues:
     Pride: Humility, Simplicity, Meekness, Compassion, Docility, Service of Others
     Vanity: Purity of intentions, Seeing Christ in others, Purity, acceptance of yourself
     Sensuality: Focus on the person of Christ, Hope, Patience, Purity,
5) Choose specific means to obtain the specific virtue
      Choose what you can do on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to form the specific virtue.
6) Determine the ideal you are going to strive to imitate
     The ideal is always to strive to become more like Christ. You need to choose an aspect of Christ’s personality as your ideal.
7) Choose a motto. Your motto is your battle cry.
 Here is a worksheet to help you develop your Spiritual Program for Your Life. This is a sample of a Spiritual Program for Your Life so you can see what a completed one may look like.
 This document should be used to do a daily examination of your conscience to see how you did each day. Reflect on it and review it. Be careful not to beat yourself up too much. Remember this is a plan that you are working on and you will not be a 100% successful every day. It took years for you to form some of these habits and tendencies. It will take time for you to work on yourself and grow spiritually.

 Be Great!

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How to Create a Plan for Your Life

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Do you have a plan for your life? Is it in electronic or print form?

I teach a plan for life using of the 6 f’s: Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun. I am going to give you a format that you can use to put a plan together for your life.

There are two distinct paths I have watched people take over the years. The first path is to build your life around your career/business and the other path is to build your career/business around your life.

The first path, building your life around your career/business, usually leads to a bad ending. It often leads to burnout, health issues, a drinking or drug problem and often unfortunately divorce. This is avoidable if you choose the path of building your career/business around your life. I am going to show you how.

The first thing to do is consider how you would like to be remembered for by your wife, kids, friends and family. Make a list of what is most important to you and how you would like your wife and kids remember you.

What is the main thing that you are striving to be remembered for in your life? Write your life purpose statement from this.

Now take each of the 6 categories (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances, Friends and Fun) and put a number on each of these based on the importance to you in your life, with 1 being highest and 6 being lowest. This is your values hierarchy.

Take each of the 6 categories using the format provided and put them in the order you choose. The next thing to do is to take each individual category and write down what this category would look like to you in a “perfect” world. Do this for all 6 categories. Here is a working document.

Now take your first category and write all the activities on a daily, weekly, monthly or annual basis that are needed to reach your vision statement in that category. Do this for all your categories. Here is a sample for a family category.

Many people like to take the 6 F’s and break them down into subcategories. For example on the family account many people like to breakdown into categories like Marriage, Children or Grandchildren and Relatives. You can create activities for each of the subcategories if you choose to make your plan for life like this.

This is your plan so you can make it any way that you want.  A plan for life is not something you can do in an hour or two. This is something that you need to schedule a whole day to go someplace offsite like a park, a lake or a place you like to think. It is also a great document to share with your spouse since you are living life together.

This is one of the most important documents that you can ever put together. Some of your life plan is in concrete, but much of it is in sand and changes as you go through different stages in your life. You want to review this document and make changes on a quarterly basis.

Pick a day every week to read your Plan for Your Life. Put it in your calendar to make sure it happens.

Be Great!